I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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