Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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