yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
