who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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