Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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