Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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