Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
