Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
