There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
