Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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