Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
