I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
