I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
