i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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