you have to choose: penises or morals?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
