Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
