just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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