Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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