it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think your dad took our porno
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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