wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
