So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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