Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
