I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
