go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
