I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
