I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
