Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
