I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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