wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
