We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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