My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
