Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
