Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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