I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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