exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
