NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
