Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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