Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
