Got a toothbrush?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Lo siento on account of my penis...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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