forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
