Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
