I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
