i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm always down for nudity.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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