im six kinds of drunk right now
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
