Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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