Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
