so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
