I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
