I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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