ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
