He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
high people should be assigned attendants
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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