she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
