He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
