first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Randomize
