I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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