but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
