i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
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