Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
