My pussy is not your playground.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
